I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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