I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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