its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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