just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
