so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize