Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
