So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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