Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need water and some morals
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
