Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
