One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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