Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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