is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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