i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
