i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
