A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
