glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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