I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
