I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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