She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
