rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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