so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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