Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
