Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
