Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
