Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
kristin has been a bad kristin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
