Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
