His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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