can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
