Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize