You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
