Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
