I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
