the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
