so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We had sex on a dog bed..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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