Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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