im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
