do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
