im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
