My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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