Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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