so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They took my balls.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
