I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
