Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
