Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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