Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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