Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
two words...techno handjob
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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