But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
