Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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