he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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