And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
high people should be assigned attendants
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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