Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
