white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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