I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize