And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
