He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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