Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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