It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
