Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
