Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I enjoy the company of your penis
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