All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
