dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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